Little update

So I have decided to go at this a whole different direction and I am hoping it works. As of now however I feel thinner. I do not think I look it but I feel it which might be my first step. Who knows? I have just made a huge change in my life. I got my own place with my fiancee and my 2 daughters. I have also decided to go back to school. I am going to take courses from home for now and see where it takes me. I can't work in fast food forever ya know. I am more than satisfied at the moment with how things are going and it is the first time in a long time that I have felt this proud of myself!

All is falling apart

So here I go. I have a lot that feels as though everything is crashing down around me. The first one most of you can figure out what it is and I am not going to say exactly what it is on here. The second one is my roommates and I were going to move into a bigger house and for reasons I can understand they have decided not to do so. Daryl and I have been looking for apartments and we have applied for one and are waiting to see what happens. Should hear back today or early next week. I feel like it is time for us to be on our own with the kids. Oh so as you can tell I am pretty stressed out. I am working my butt off at work picking up all the extra hours I can. I hit my Feb. goal weight and bypassed it actually. I weighed myself and I am at 178 now. All it took was finding a diet that works for me. I can not eat 6x a day with my job. There is no way. I tried but I can not. I found one where I only have to eat 4 times a day and it reminds me to pack my lunch every day.

work

I worked a 13 hour day yesterday. It was hard. I did not take enough food with me to keep my calories in higher than my calories out. I tried so hard to order "smart" off my menu. I hope I did okay... I will have to wait and see

Why I am here

So one reason I am here is I am engaged to be married next year to a wonderful guy. I went to try on dresses. I tried on a 16 and saw back rolls. That was horrifying. The first time I got married I was pregnant. This time I am trying to plan my dream beach wedding. The date is set for August 7 2010 but that is if we have the finances to put toward getting married bu then. The second reason I am here is my daughters. I have one who was born in 2005 and One who was born i 2007. Ages 3 and 1 are very rambunxious ages and I can not chase my kids around without running out of breath or getting tired very quickly and I want to be the fun mommy not the mommy that sits on the couch all the time.

Work

Work is getting quite challenging for me as far as losing weight goes. I can not eat every 3 to 4 hours when I am at work because I get to sit down when they say so not when I need to. At work there is so much fried food and greasy food that is so much easier to order and eat and I have been doing everything I can to avoid it. Today I had a grilled chicken sandwich with no sauce so it was alright. Another thing I am having problems avoiding is the ice cream. Usually if we have made an extra it gets put on the tray of the employee who goes on break next it is low fat but still has some fat and when you put toppings on it that raises the bar a lot. I just take it and throw it away. Days like today when I have to do stock before I leave and I have to run up and down stairs carrying a lot of stuff makes me warm and I used to get a milkshake to cool down. Today I almost gave into that but ended up drinking a diet dr. pepper instead. That was a hard thing for me to decide on but I did it so I am proud of me.

2-12

I have been on the go a lot. We are looking fo ra new house and have been house hunting for about a week now. I have been running a lot of other errands as well. I have been working which next week my schedule will be increasing a lot. If you don't already know I work in fast food. This is going to be the hardest thing for me. When I worked there before I used to go on break and grab a burger and scarf it. I will not allow myself to do that anymore. So far I have not worked enough hours in a shift to get a long enough brake to do that. Next week I will. My plan is that if I have to eat at work for one reason or another I will stick to the salads or wraps. Grilled chicken of course.